Dear TigerOne: New Year’s Eve 2013

31 Dec

Dear TigerOne,

It’s New Years Eve and you have been fussy all day. You finally fell asleep around 10 and I got to take a long hot bath. It was the first time I bathed in about 3 days and it was heavenly. By the time I got out of the bath your father was asleep and snoring on the floor next to your crib. Did you know that one of us sleeps in the nursery next to you every single night? We do that so that if your apnea alarm goes off because you stop breathing in the night we can respond as quickly as possible. I’m told that eventually you should outgrow the apnea, and honestly that day can’t come soon enough. Coupled with the regular stress of being a new parent, we deal with the stress of knowing that you could easily die in your sleep. Sometimes in the middle of the night I watch the rise and fall of your little chest while reviewing how to do infant CPR in my head… I try not to worry about it too much, but I’m your Mom. That’s my job.

Anyway, I’ve gotten off topic. It is New Year’s Eve and I can’t bear to wake up your Dad to give him a kiss at midnight.
He is really exhausted from working hard all day and then coming home to care for you, so I’ll let him sleep. You’ve got a really good Dad. We both lucked out on that front.

So I’m sitting up alone basking in the light of our dried out a Christmas tree reflecting on 2012. The central focus of this year was bringing you in to this world. You were conceived in January and I gave birth to you in November. During those 10 months you and I spent a lot of time at my office, we rocked out at Coachella, went on day trips to the coast, flew to Portland, swam a lot at the pool, and had lots of other little adventures. There were lots of good times with you on the inside.

The last few months of 2012 were pretty insane. They were filled with some intense highs and lows. We were burglarized right before you were born and had a lot of valuable stuff stolen. You didn’t want to be born so I had to have a long induction. I got to have the amazing experience of birthing you naturally, and then I spent 3 long weeks at your bedside in the NICU. We had your brain scanned and learned that you have Joubert Syndrome. Eventually we got to take you home from the hospital and soon after I turned 30 while wearing you in a carrier and toasting mimosas with my friends. Last week we shared our first Christmas as a family. Life certainly hasn’t been dull since you came along.

I am hopeful that 2013 will be a little less dramatic. I think we’ve earned that after the past few months. This year I’m planning on
learning more about your diagnosis and helping you thrive in every way that we can. I’m really looking forward to seeing your personality blossom. I’m excited about lots of cuddle time and laughs and am ready to soak up every ounce of these sweet baby moments before you turn into a little boy. It’s going to be a good year.

Love,
Mama

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